Auld Lang Syne

“Auld Lang Syne” – which roughly translates to “times gone by”– was written by Scottish poet Robert Burns in 1788 and is thought to have been based on a Scottish folk song. And with that every year many drunkenly or not so drunk fumble through the words as a way of acknowledging farewell to the previous year.

I am not sure when I recall first hearing the song, singing it or even remembering it. I do recall watching New Years Eve broadcasts and it was always the concluding number after midnight usually done by the Guy Lombardo Orchestra which as I grew older was replaced by Dick Clark’s Rockin New Year’s Eve. ** I have posted the history of NYE below for those curious** We have many variations today and with that equal amount of performances and ways to acknowledge the new year, of course the most famous is the one directly across the river at Times Square and the infamous ball which drops at midnight and the revelers that were there all day do the kiss and then vacate after a long day of standing in what ostensibly is pens. Yes folks are corralled in pens with no ability to leave. Sounds great.

Many have their favorites, I used to love Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper on CNN, then she was terminated due to a poorly done photo of Trump, and his BRAVO friend, Andy Cohen took his place. The roster was covered by additional CNN hosts, my personal favorite as always was drunk Don Lemon and his cohort Brooke Baldwin. I think that is what made Don Lemon so popular and people forget that he began on the network late Saturdays and was even then a fascinating train wreck which over time became just frankly too political and he is now on the AM show and apparently doing well. I have actually watched CNN of late as it is less talk more news and with that they decided to stop the drinking between the two AC’s. MISTAKE. Neither man is actually funny, Andy Cohen is a misogynist and a mean drunk which tells you what he is like in real life, and Anderson doesn’t drink but is just a giggly girl who reminds one of the Prom Queen drunk on Seltzer and might actually let loose. I managed an hour, missing talk that concluded with how Iran brings in the New Year by hanging criminals. Okay then. Bring it on.

But I missed the other alternatives, NYE in Nashville (sorry I lived there and with that trigger warnings) and the Dolly Parton/Miley Cyrus show that included oddly David Byrn which was from what I can tell fascinating to watch. While I could imagine ringing in the New Year with David that is not how I would have. But okay then. Bring it on.

As I ended my new year doing what I have promised myself in the forthcoming year to do less of, attend Theater. The recent performance of Death of a Salesman had an Audience member so drunk and out of control that Wendell Pierce had to stop, break the fourth wall and ask her to leave and offer to refund her money. This is not surprising as this is the new Theater audience, either entitled and feel they can police and monitor behavior, or the insane who have no sense of behavior and personal boundaries. They sort of overlap on the Venn Diagram of Audience with the sing along crowd, the illicit taping or photo taking, and of course the lack of comprehension of the subject and are there as they are the FOMO crowd and truly don’t ‘get it.’

Theater is a crapshoot and again very objective, what one likes another can loathe. Again the Met Opera and the woman who screamed at me at the Subway in a full state of tears regarding the opera, The Hours, “IT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN MADE.” Or the two men on the way out ranting that it was horrid and they wished they left during the Intermission. Which one? The first or the second during the three hours plus long opera? Again I wonder why they hated it and with that I have bad news it is being brought back for next season, fully the same cast as the entire run was sold out. Yet I met not one person who liked it? For the record it will be sold out the next time too with many going again. Me no. But I did not hate it, I just found it lacking that cohesion that desperately needed a connection to explain the three women’s stories. I knew it but let’s assume many do not. It was based on the book, not the movie and with that I have met few who fucking read, let alone that book so I can understand the frustration. The hate no.

And with that even how bad the two pieces I saw on Friday, 1776, the Musical and Des Moines, the last play by the late Author, Denis Johnson, both with interesting casting choices, could not overcome the overwhelming weakness of script. The former simply dated and despite the “woke” casting of Women/Women of Color and Trans Women it seemed campy and much like a Drag Show send up. Des Moines was an unfinished work which the Author knew was incomplete and needed revisions but had established that it could not be done posthumously. And with that the cast did its best to make it work and I admit I went to see Michael Shannon who is on Showtime right now doing a poor imitation of the late Country Music Star, George Jones, but who I have a massive crush on. That ended not because of the play as I saw him prior to the show walking to the theater, lumbering as if he was lost or dazed and much like many old men I see attending theater and like the same men, like I did, left 1776 at Intermission. See that is how you do it. I just left and when I did I stopped in the restroom I realized one of the Men was heading in that direction, he then walked into the Ladies room and was in the stall next to me. I looked down his feet facing forward so I was not sure as he was masked but he could be a Man, be Trans or just “identify” as a woman. He raced out without washing his hands and was heading for the door. All of it just screamed weird. Irony that earlier the Ladies room was packed so I used the Men’s room, and when I went in I yelled “Anyone here?” Then as I was in the stall I heard the voices and told the women that I was the only one in there and to come in so they did. I should have definitely done the same, as while I was not unsafe in any sense I simply don’t get it. If you are a man or have become one be one, use the right restroom out of respect of those who simply don’t get it or because guess what you forfeited that right once you changed. Or here is plan, convert them all to have a single use one that locks to prevent the dilemma. This is why we have a problem right now, we simply cannot disagree in a healthy manner. I have zero problem with trans but I was sure that it was a man next to me.. why? Irony again as I left I checked the men’s room was again empty. Des Moines I managed to make it to the last 20 minutes and suddenly when the stage/theater went dark I took that to make my leave and slipped out of what was again a largely empty theater. Needless to say that was why my crush on Michael Shannon ended, I could not discern the character from the man I saw on the street; One review said he lumbered along the stage, well that is not far from what I saw, so Old Man and See Ya!

And with that we have a problem with how we express ourselves or share our experiences. When I said to the Women outside the men’s room, “come in there is no one in here so don’t worry or be afraid” they felt the need to correct that. And there is truth to that; but again if you identify or are transitioning you need to embrace it. I would have no problem with a Woman who I often call a “Big Girl” as she is a Woman now and should be acknowledged and treated as such. But once you are on one side or the other, stick with it. I get it. One it that there are urinals and no one wants to see that, I suspect men don’t either, but that is a personal issue just like watching me pee or take a shit. Some of this can simply be resolved by having one bathroom, no urinals and floor to ceiling locking stalls. They exist and I have used them and have no problem with that and it does stop the idea of doing what I did, lean down to check feet positioning, etc. But for fuck’s sake figure this shit out.

And with the need for inclusion and access, the MET Opera has commissioned finally works to include more by Women and POC. Better late than never but the reality is that it will never be enough or that they only started now. Fuck off, take it for a win and let it go or let them do it and accept it for bad or worse. Hey it can only open more doors, like toilets which apparently were the initial battleground I guess. And with that taking a dated Musical that we can say needs to stay in the graveyard such as 1776, casting it with POC, Women and members of the LGBQT community are not going to make a shitty thing not smell. It was a relic past its time so here’s an idea – WRITE YOUR OWN. Create a piece that addresses the issues of Women, Natives and of course Slaves. Gosh that would be hard! Okay, then. Why bother? But figure it out.

And that is where we are taking relics and redoing them to make them woke. Funny that very little was done to Death of a Salesman other than cast Black Actors and expand a role, enable a scene that permitted some music to accommodate the talents of two Actors who do sing, and yet it made perfect sense and there it was. Why the woman went nuts, I have no idea, but it is clear that again the theater crowd is of late a hot mess. I was relieved that in both plays I saw this weekend I had the rows to myself, I felt utterly relieved. I am so over it. Well in 1776 they insisted we all wear the provided masks and yet no rows behind us needed to. WTF? I have one play left and one musical (Moulin Rouge) both on a Wednesday and I am optimistic as the crowds dissipate in January and I hope for the best. I still have a lot of Opera, Comedy and Music on the calendar but they too have been largely absent of crowds and the ability to move seats is always there. I am just not sure anymore how I feel with regards to theater in the future. And I don’t feel I am not missing anything. That may be a good message for most to follow this coming year. Miss less.

Now how about a cup of auld lang syne.

From the Chicago Tribune:

While Ryan Seacrest now has the spotlight duty of guiding the New Year’s Eve festivities from New York City’s Times Square, it was Dick Clark — until his death in April 2012 at age 82 — who did the same for a 35-year span. Prior to Clark, it was bandleader Guy Lombardo as the best known personality for almost a half-century of live New Year’s Eve broadcasts from 1929-1976 on radio, and later TV live from New York City’s Waldorf-Astoria Hotel ballroom. It was 40 years ago when Lombardo signed off for his final broadcast on Jan. 1, 1976. And this year marks the 40th anniversary of when he died at age 75 in November 1977 and Clark took over the annual broadcasts.

In addition to our tradition at the farm for watching the New York countdown to the new year, there’s also other favorite folklore we follow about our New Year’s traditions. Here are some of my favorite facts and fun tips for starting the new year off right according the lore and legends passed along throughout the centuries.

Making the date — New Year’s celebrations have been observed since prehistoric times. However, only within the past 400 years has Jan. 1 been the widespread observed holiday. The Romans, in 153 B.C., were the first to use Jan. 1 to mark the beginning of the new year.

Cease to Caesar — Roman Emperor Julius Caesar tried to change the New Year date from Jan. 1 to a later date. Though he was voted down by the Senate — to make the ruler happy — the month of his birth was named in his honor: July.

A noisy night — Some of the most familiar trademarks of New Year’s parties are noisemakers, masks and paper hats. This tradition began many centuries ago as an effort to “hide your identity” while making noise to “drive away evil spirits” from hampering the new year. In China, firecrackers are used as “the loudest noisemakers around.”

Weather or not — Dating back to the times of ancient Babylon, it is believed the weather on New Year’s Day is symbolic of what the weather will be like for the rest of the new year. For example, sunny, rainy, cold, warm … Some people even believe each of the 12 days before New Year’s Day are symbolic of what the weather will be like for each of the 12 months in the new year. Many believe a windless New Year’s Day means a dry summer; windy means floods; and breezy indicates summer rainfall.

Presidential party time — George Washington, our country’s first president, is credited for holding the first public reception and presidential inauguration. According to his diary entry for New Year’s Day 1790: “Many came between the hours of 12 p.m. and 3 p.m. to pay the compliments of the season to me, and in the afternoon, a great number of ladies and gentlemen visited Mrs. Washington on the same occasion.”

Mum’s the word — The Swedish and English who settled along the Delaware River began the tradition of the “Mummers’ Parade of Philadelphia,” which is still held each New Year’s Day. Groups dressed in fancy costumes sing and present plays along the streets while “mumming,” which means begging for money, food, drinks or belated Christmas gifts.

Flower power — The most famous New Year’s Day parade for most people is “The Tournament of Roses Parade,” held each year in Pasadena, Calif., which features more than 70 floats constructed from and covered with flowers. Originally meant to celebrate “the ripening of oranges in California,” it now has come to mean the opening of The Rose Bowl football game, which first began in 1902, when the University of Michigan defeated Stanford 49 to 0. Ouch!

Hide the Tide detergent — Some people believe whatever a person does on New Year’s Day will indicate the type of year that awaits. If you do laundry on New Year’s Day, you will have a hard year of work ahead and a death in the family. (Gulp!) Washing clothes on Jan. 1 is said to represent “washing someone out of your life!” Also, forget about sewing. It is said if you sew on New Year’s Day, you will be sewing a shroud (a cloth used to cover a dead body for a funeral) by the end of the year!

Look who’s there — Should the first visitor to your house on New Year’s Day be a female, bad luck will follow. If the first visitor is a man, expect good luck. Many visitors at one time indicates good fortune. Also, nothing should be taken outside the house unless something is brought back in, in exchange.

The Times Square New Year’s Eve trademark is the 6-foot lighted ball that descends 70 feet on a pole to the ground to symbolize the arrival of the New Year. The first “glowing ball” was built in 1907 built by Russian immigrant and metalworker/signmaker Jacob Star, after the city outlawed fireworks on New Year’s Eve.

Eating answers — Your New Year’s menu can be very important if you believe our ancestors. To gain wealth in the new year, eat cabbage or sauerkraut. Cabbage, and it’s green tint, is said to represent paper money. Germans believe eating herring (a strong-flavored fish often served in sour cream or vinegar) will bring good luck all year round. In Italy, pig’s feet or pork and lentil beans are eaten. The lentil beans symbolize “coins” to bring wealth in the new year. People are told to eat pork and poultry on New Year’s. The reason for this is because chickens scratch backwards (symbolizing a return to the old) and pigs root with their noses forward (symbolizing moving on to the new year.) Black-eyed peas are another favorite for good luck. And always make sure your salt shaker is full on New Year’s Day “to ensure you will prosper all year long.”

The Top 12 plus One List

I left off at my resolutions, reflections and the best/worst of 2012 as we move into 2013 I am pretty sure 13 has to be lucky.  Given how bad 12 was in all honesty was unbelievably bad for most people be you a 99%, a 1%, 47%er or 0%er.

I don’t have answers,  I have endless questions to seek answers.   This is my resolution this year to get some of those questions answered.  Its often a wall of fire you come to when you do so, if only real firewalls were as tough.  Being unafraid is a lot better place than being afraid.  2012 seemed to be the year of fear.  Aside from a rhyme its not a good place to be.

Here are what I think makes one live behind walls.  Walls are great to keep things in and out. And that is not always a good thing.

6.  Lather Rinse Repeat.  Regardless of the political spectrum you sit on you are still sitting in a Laundromat watching the cycle. Be it the left side of the street or the right, you come out with your clothes the same state you came in with them. So what is the point?  Why watch something that clearly makes you angry?  And that is one thing again regardless of your Laundromat of choice you seem to get angrier after the wash cycle. Maybe you need a dry cleaner.

7. Angry White Men.  In my quest to write the book/bestseller “Conversation with Idiots” I want to include this member of the quote/unquote White Establishment. I usually only watch them at the Laundromat but of late I have actually spoken to them. Yep, they are as angry as they are on the box.  And yes they are an archetype, stereotype and tragic figures as Opera defines.   An injured bear seems to have less pain and rage.  Why? Where? How? Who? Well who cares.  I did get some insight in my conversation with the AWM on New Years Eve and his penultimate moment in time seemed to be his 8th grade history teacher who was so terrible that even 30 years later she fuels his anger today.  Commenting that it was teacher tenure that made this moment in history so distressing he carries that rage today. So yep its those Unions.  Damn them!

But he did have a hero  – the characters in Ayn Rand’s novels.  Yes a grown man feels that characters in FICTION are his heroes. Wow, to not have real people and role models in life that stand out to fill in your need to aspire and admire you really are angry and did have a bad education.

8.  Fiscal Cliff/Middle Class – those terms and phrases need to be retired or thrown off a cliff. Start talking and doing things about the real problems not the kabuki theatre that is what professes as intelligent discussion.   And who are these middle class people?  The ones who can still afford tickets to this show? Good well again Opera like Kabuki appeal to those of the 1% while Shakespeare was for the 99%.  Sons of Anarchy the FX show is often compared to that and you can’t get more 99% than bikers. Try flipping the channel, embrace the Walking Dead,  as that is what its like for the poors. Zombies who just want to eat. 

9.  WE built it. Apparently you mean I.  The I/Me/Mine is the real We here. As I said in #7 I found that the AWM is very proud of what HE built.  There is no “i” in “me”.   One of the things he also said was during his recent hunting expedition (yes he continued to just walk into that) he said the town of Othello, WA is now predominately Hispanic.  He did not use the term “Mexican or Latin” American as I do (well they are American they are here) and how impressed that these children who were brought here illegally (again maybe they weren’t brought but born but hey whatever) were working hard and running businesses and being successful and what could we do to get “white” children to be so hard working.

Well remove the word “white” there first asshole.  And when I said Education is a key he launched into his memory of the 8th grade teacher who failed him and the whole tenure, union stuff and my comment was: “sorry you have this much anger about something over 30 years ago but if you are so independent and individualistic and don’t need anyone you could have overcome this by informing the Teacher she was failing you, not the other way round. Taken over your history class and taught yourself the material or maybe had your parents do that for you.” 

So much for up by the bootstraps, independent and individualistic.  Instead of being an angry white man he was just still that angry white boy of 12 in a classroom who hated that teacher. There is your real reason behind that movement.

10.  Work hard/Entitlements.   Who doesn’t and isn’t.  Again back to my AWM conversation I heard both. I am sorry you seem to be the one who thinks that you work hard and that it entitles you to do what? Be an asshole. You clearly are working way too hard.  In the course of this exchange he asked me if could “work hard” and he would give me a job.  I go “I don’t? I get up at 4 a.m. every morning to see if I am working that day.  I substitute teach and don’t know if and where I am working. I go into different schools, different classrooms, teaching different subjects, to kids of different ages, educational needs and have no idea what I am walking into and that is not hard?  I only get paid when I work, I get no benefits, no health care, no pension, have no job security? Is that not hard.”  He had no response. But what a patronizing a condescending and rude remark to anyone.  There are people who don’t work hard but I hate to break it to you AWM, its not the people you think.

I think that is where the word Entitlement is misused.  They mean I, Me and Mine are Entitled and You can’t have it, share in it or deserve it because you are a Poor. Read that Constitution that you love so much.  Oh wait that whole “equality” thing has qualifications and limits.  WE get it. WE really do.

11.  Find Community. Mine is here. A disparate group who really define the term diversity. I am so grateful that in what I hope is the last and only worst time of life, the people who have come to support and more importantly BELIEVE me have been the best thing in this worst thing to happen.  They are not “online” friends. They are very real and very relevant.  I have found a great joy in the laughter and tears I have shared and I am grateful. I resolve to never forget that. Community is real, its personal and its physical.

12.  End this book. Put it on the shelf in the back for a rainy day. Its time and I have been reading it too long.  I don’t believe in book  burning but rules have exceptions and this is one book that as I read it I am also writing it.  You can’t write when you are doing it.  It needs time for perspective and I need that.   We all need to look back on the year and see it from a place of distance. And distance is time.

I am adding on to the Top 12 to the the list to reflect the year ahead.

13.  Live.

Happy is another word of personal definition and meaning. Find your place of happiness and your resolutions that will accomplish it.  13 is a lucky number.