Literally. Being away for a couple of days gave me a break from the news but then immediately I had a lot to catch up on. So this is a brief review of some of the insanity or is that inanity that defines the American way.
First up: The Kentucky Millionaire who built a bunker and it failed to do what he built to do – keep his family safe. One dead and the family now lives in an expensive RV for reasons unclear, but it is clear that being crazy is not defined to the unhoused. Oh wait…..
Next: Sex Ed is Grooming. Okay this is now Q’Anon on steroids. I was sure that the original basis of much of this Q person was in fact a woman as she worked for the group behind the “chan” sites and then as the male personas picked up on the bizarre messaging and in turn grew their business from it, the Q thing sort of blossomed into this monolith that fueled much of the Trumptards. The fear of sex and information is a commonality in the South thanks to the Church. And that is the real reason behind the push to end abortion, there has never been a predominant interest in the life of children or these same whack jobs would be advocates for child care, maternity leave, health care and other post natal programs that promote life. It is about sex and the idea if you are fucking you will confine it to marriage and keep your sinning filth in the home. These are people who hate sex, and yes even I am bored with it but hey don’t let me stop you fucking! And with that fear that sex and intimacy is an effort, which they want no part of. Note that they are either breeding maniacs or have two kids which means they fucked themselves out. And I have never met a religious crackpot group that were not one or the other. Birth Control is sex control and sex is the predominant reason behind marriage. Trust me this is the real issue, fucking.
I have always found it interesting that many States take the forefront with regards to these issues, but Tennessee was always just ahead of the curve; however, they don’t get the news coverage on these culture firebrands as does Texas or Florida and I suspect it is because of Nashville. The state is very tied to that city for its income and with that the powers inside that city, while they may share their values fear the loss of money more, so with that much of the oppressive crazy shit is buried. When I lived there the issues surrounding sex abuse, largely in the schools was a major issue and with that the City Prosecutor rarely prosecuted said cases, blaming the Police for their poor investigation skills. But Nashville Schools were dumps and many times focus of investigation after investigation and little was ever done. Look at the timeline of the great reporter, Phil Williams, and his endless investigations in the school district and realize the problems there are serious and they do little more than cover it up. That is the South, hide, obscure and lie if you have to. Do as little as possible take as much credit as possible, that is their mantra. Mine is – What.ever.
Rounding to Third: Guns and more guns. After seeing Damon Wayans at Carolines a week ago where he brought a baseball bat to the stage with him a day later a comedy club in North Carolina found themselves closing early when a patron showed up with a shotgun; then a shooting at a mall in Indiana food court where the mythical good guy with a gun shot and killed the bad guy with a gun. (Some of this needs further investigation and I suspect as in all of these mass shootings, the truth is buried there) A shooting in Houston at an Apartment Complex left four dead; a shooting in a campground left three dead, one being only six; a woman dead after an altercation in a parking lot in Oklahoma; and more heinous facts regarding Uvalde continue to be released that again demonstrate how all of these shootings do not have the full information until investigations are completed. There is nothing in that particular story that has any good element in what.so.ever. And with that one of the few survivors of the Parkland shooting, meaning the shooter himself, is undergoing a sentencing trial which led one of the victims parents to scream out STOP and leave the courtroom. What is Justice in this case? That is not a decision anyone can make easily.
And lastly: I am exhausted with America right now. The endless one upmanship, the belittling and condescension that passes as an arrogant way of telling someone you are smarter and better than they are. I sat in Saratoga listening to the most boring people and I said little other than to remind them as I am on my own I have only myself to be responsible for and be concerned with. I am out to enjoy as a much of life as I can and with that do it as safely and as easily as I can. My conversations that once were as interesting as they were random have been relegated to largely message posts and those who serve me… the coffee person, the Front Desk Clerk, the Concierge at my building. These are not conversations they are more monologues and lectures where I either inform and attempt to have a teachable moment or be funny and witty without much of challenge or intellect. Even podcasts I am finding deeply redundant. Listen to Marc Maron WTF and it is him discussing his anxiety and frustrations about food and his family. In the beginning of the pandemic he lost his partner and his grief and pain coupled with the fear of the future were fascinating studies in how one copes and evolves when you are alone and working through it. I connected to that and much of his pain resonated, his humor not lost on one who feels much the same way, being over 55, being alone, having no kids and facing this odd future did make me laugh and cry. Today I get through maybe the first 5 minutes and unless he is speaking to someone I know and care about I wipe it out. The show with Nikki Glaser was both sad and funny as it was two neurotic comics who are successful and have good lives wax on about their eating disorders, their sexual confusion and fear of relationships. It should be a must listen for anyone going into the therapy business.
I had not known Ms. Glaser until FB Island where that thankfully is a delight of idiocy and moron supremacy that I need right now. So to listen to her comedy and in turn her own personal struggles I got much of what she said about sex and connection and how women view their sexuality and their intimacy tied to sex itself and men do not, they in fact disconnect from the two and immediately disengage once the act is complete. She insisted and I agree that women should not have sex until they are friends and familiar with the man and then have sex as they will find it by far more satisfying. She even feels girls should resort strictly to giving blow jobs or hand jobs if they feel compelled to offer sex to a boy as a means of building attraction. There is a big no from me on the sucking dick and fine with the hand job as it is utterly disease free and safe sex in every way. I am sorry but not getting oral cancer to suck a dick and the same goes for men, just finger bang or hand jobs or mutually masturbate. The era of sex is over and clearly we are going to have to start at square one to educate and inform and if you cannot love yourself you cannot love anyone else.
And with that Marc shared that he was in a friendship with a woman, and I recall this discussion at Red Bank when I saw him there, about wanting a “girl” friend who fucked him, had dinner with him (maybe not in that order) and then left and did not stay over, see him every day and remain monogamous in that type of arrangement. He is now in that that type of arrangement and he acknowledged that she is younger, he did not say how young but if she stays over she sleeps in another room. She has to be 30 as no woman over 35 would put up with that bullshit. Again it is challenging when you have no kids, no real baggage to find partners on the same page but even that would be stretch for me. I might do the dinner part, maybe even the fucking and would leave but I doubt that. I did that and hated it so I am over it. The reality is that while I was hit on by a man that night at the restaurant I and oddly Marc ate at after the show (although given his food issues that must have been interesting) I felt nothing, kissing this man, nothing. I wanted to go to my hotel room and sleep. I am not sure I will ever feel anything for a man again. So there you go folks note that again most of the Pro Life/Anti sex crew are all well into their 60s and cling to the past as a part of the problem. They still blame the Hippies! The observations I made at Saratoga with these couples in their 50s only made me feel relieved that I was not a part of this. I recall my ex husband and his theory that the Moon landing was a Conspiracy, the fame obsession aka the asspirational (intentional misspelling) that he carried with him. He is like many I meet, toting their fake or real Vuitton bags or wearing their Gucci shoes and the insatiable need to be “famous” be that on social media or just someone who matters. I have all of those things but rarely use them and feel compelled to let everyone know I have them, I get it. I really do. With that I seek respect and dignity and to speak and be spoken to in a manner that reflects that. And with that I am so grateful to not be married as I suspect I would be like one of the couples, parroting my Husband’s idiotic viewpoints and beliefs. I recall when I realized I had married a jerk I began to spend less time at home, and when he was there I wasn’t and so forth. My dog was the one thing that I truly loved during that time.
In my conversation with my Concierge yesterday he was shocked how few people actually speak to people professionally and they have college degrees! He is from Africa and migrated here years ago and was educated in his country but like many many Immigrants his degrees could not be substantiated as he was designated a refugee and this led him to working here. His story is not different than many despite the shortages of medical professionals, they are forced to return to school to get an American degree. Or what I call the most expensive piece of paper you will ever buy. I am sure that most if not many who possess a degree, myself included, have found it utterly useless and utterly a waste of time and money. Others and those are largely the graduates of “elite” Universities who are not any smarter but are better connected and in turn have better opportunities in which to work. The endless studies that profess that those with a degree earn more in a lifetime needs a little more detail there as it is based on Social Security data. And again women are fucked right there as many take time away from the workforce and may end up in work that will often pay less. This does not paint the full picture as it is frankly all theory as we know that flows in economics and trends dictate the pursuit of a degree but that degree may not be what the field you end up in and with that make even more so does degree and type matter? What school? What was the base salary? What profession? What was the network connection that enabled the gig, and so forth. The reality is that connections matter more and the doors are open via an alumni association or through a friend and family. So say Bob goes to University of Illinois and gets a Business Degree, with that where does he go to work out of school? What was his base salary? (Cause it ain’t what you think) If Bob was named Jane was that the same salary? How did he find said job? Recruited or applied? But that fact is shoved down our throats to the detriment of many who have expensive degrees and are Barista’s at Starbucks. Hence the union drive. We often equate worth with one’s financial stability. They are not the same.
We have no way of knowing details about anything unless we ask and we dig and we do neither. We talk at each other and not to or with each other. We are busy drawing our dividing lines and that seems to be with regards to how one votes. Funny I don’t have a problem with whom you vote for, I do if you do not read, listen to music, watch a movie, go on a trip and have a thought that isn’t your own.
So it appears that my story may be like this one. A tragic tale of someone at the brink of his life found dead and alone. At least I will have lived one.